07 Aug What Is The Source Of Your Negative Emotions?
A client of mine, Chris, returned from a month long trip abroad and was upset at her husband, Paul because the house hadn’t been cleaned. Her fantasy of a romantic husband who would have a pristine home, a candle-lit bath, flowers and dinner waiting for her was once again dashed. What really annoyed her was the fact that she had even sent him an email with a list ofthe things she wanted him to do and he still hadn’t done it!
She has been married to him for many years. He’s a loving husband and he does many things for her. He just doesn’t do everything the way she thinks he SHOULD.
Whenever we think things should be different from the way they are, we get upset. And when we get upset or angry, we are literally unleashing a tsunami that wreakS havoc in our bodies and destroyS our health.
We explored what would happen if Chris let go of the expectation and thought that Paul SHOULD do all the things she wanted when she came back from a trip. She acknowledged that if she could let go of the thought, she wouldn’t feel all those negative emotions. We did some energy healing and breath work on letting go.
When Chris began accepting the way things were and who Paul was, she began to accept WHAT IS. That included acknowledging all the things Paul did take care of in her absence, like getting her car fixed, working on the garden and taking care of the house repairs. The more appreciative she was, the calmer and more peaceful she felt.
It suddenly occurred to her that on her next trip, she could hire a service to clean her house, come and prepare the bathroom, romantic dinner and flowers for her arrival and ask her husband to pay for it. Something she knew he would gladly do. From a place of acceptance, an entirely new possibility showed up.
How many times in the past week were you irritated, annoyed,angry, upset or sad?
How do you feel when you experienced these emotions? Does your a breathing become shallow and quicker and does your stomach tighten up?
Do your shoulders and facial muscles tense up?
All of these emotions cause stress and the moment we feel stress, physiological changes occur in our bodies. We release the stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol that increase your heart rate, elevate your blood pressure, increase the sugars in the bloodstream and disrupt othervital processes in the body including the immune, digestive system and reproductive systems. Chronic stress is now recognized as the number one cause of disease.
All of these emotions that you felt started with a thought.
And thoughts can be changed.
The kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to ACCEPT WHAT IS.
Paul is not going to change, until he does. Chris’ THOUGHT that he SHOULD be different from the way he is was the source of her pain.
All the things you expect and think SHOULD happen that aren’t happening are the source of YOUR pain and suffering and all the negative feelings you experience.
This week observe when these emotions arise. Breathe deeply and let goof your breath. As you let it go, ask yourself if you are willing to let go of the way things should be and accept what is. Ask yourself what new thought you could replace the old one with.